And at that moment, he felt like giving in, like letting his body fall back into the eager arms of Darkness.
He could already imagine how delicious it would feel to not be lonely anymore—and who cared really, if his companion, the one to break the curse of all this sadness and melancholy, was a demon? …So long as he had someone, so long as he drove away the maddening loneliness, what did it all matter? Good,bad, dead or alive…
He could already taste the relief on his tongue, could feel the chill of Darkness seep into his bones. Who needed warmth when the cold could numb you over and never make you feel pain?
And just as he was about to let himself go limp in the waiting arms of Darkness…
He had been down this road before, knew what it entailed: momentary comfort in exchange for added pain. It was senseless; no one would agree to it. Yet all the same, it was so tempting to fall into Darkness’s loveless embrace.
But he realised he did not want to be fed to the Darkness. He did not want to help that monster grow and lure in other stray souls into that painless, lifeless vacuum. He did not want to add to numbers that were already so full of grief, did not want the sound of his name to evoke choked gasps ans watery words.
“But he looked so happy.” “He was so young.”
He wanted, he realised, to be as happy as he pretended to be.
As he walked away from the abysses that lied beneath his feet, he thought that perhaps happiness was worth suffering for.